But we have every right to protect our well-being and we owe it to ourselves and our families to do so. I finally blocked her completely when the iPhone made it simple and complete: And this was my mistake — allowing her back in over and over again. Same could be said for your intelligence, physical appearance, age, housekeeping skills, creativity, fashion sense, how much her kids enjoy being around you and your happy marriage. Think of any sort of milestone and you can be sure that mom wants to be there for it. No more negotiating — anything. So if nothing else, at least the pain of this experience was not wasted on me. Otherwise, years down the road, you and your family will suffer. Do you try to show her up in any way?
I tried explaining myself, correcting her misperceptions, etc… But all that did was keep her engaged and allow her to keep dumping her aggression onto me. Shares Learn how to free yourself from a difficult ex. But if I could have seen the future, I would have lovingly told my husband he needed to figure out how to make this work without me ever having contact with his ex. The ex is far away and I have no contact with her. But we have every right to protect our well-being and we owe it to ourselves and our families to do so. Granted, there was no way I could have known what I was in store for. Some healing from the trauma needed to happen. When she looks at your strengths, all she sees are her weaknesses. And this was my mistake — allowing her back in over and over again. She was doing what she needed to make herself feel better. For a long time she could just ignore the painful feelings that accompany divorce. So how do you know when you should cut off contact? Are you consciously or subconsciously trying to make her look like a bad mom? Do you try to show her up in any way? And he would have. I should have refused all contact with her, but I kept thinking of a million different reasons to leave myself open. It was my job to make sure that I was comfortable and safe by being inaccessible to her. Otherwise, years down the road, you and your family will suffer. But you can find strategies and boundaries that work to minimize its effects on you. Protect yourself at all costs Looking back, the one thing I wish I would have done differently was completely deny her access to me. Same could be said for your intelligence, physical appearance, age, housekeeping skills, creativity, fashion sense, how much her kids enjoy being around you and your happy marriage. The Healing I was 5 years into stepfamily life when me, my husband and stepkids moved miles away from his ex and I was finally able to get some physical and emotional distance. An irrational fear, as the chances of that happening are basically nil, but a common fear nonetheless. She perceives you as overstepping boundaries. I felt light, peaceful and open.
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